China Doll
Friday, February 04, 2005
i feel so... empty.. so imcomplete... its not like the past me.
In da past, whenever i feel ever so low so stressed, im able to sort out my thinkin rationally pickin myself up once again. Livin life i shld be living.
However, this time, i felt like a bum. why am such a failure. not doin things up tot standard. be it work or housework. mistakes here and dere. obviously it pisses everyone. and it piss ME MYSELF OFF.
This world definitely suck. ok. i can tell u. in da past, this hardly crosses my mind. I used to feel that the world is full of love trust faith. but somehow, many incidents, proved me wrong. this world is so goddamn realistic, so lowdown, so fake. jux started out in the society. cant accept all this. brainwashin myself. I WANNA BE A RICH TAITAI. haha.. and duh... its a DREAM! not all dreams will come true. trust me. this never will. i noe it myself.
how i wish, this damn world can be so innocent. yea. as i said. I WISHED.
i feel so frustrated. some ppl jux cannot put trust in me. yea i admit. i like doine xtreme things. but so wat. i dun harm myself. hmm.. mebbe i do? but i believe in myself doings things gd and puttin it in da right place. different ways of completin task for everyone. stop naggin at me. it sucks to core.
stop treatin as if im still alittle young girl. i noe how realistic this world. no more childish tots for me. YES I NOE! i noe how to think. i got brains yea? althou it is slow sometimes. SO WAT! im 17. yes. still along way to go. jux lemme do things on my own. dun disturb me or interfere. i might smack ur assss.
how much i hope everything in da world can jux go accordin to wat i want. it never will.
but body aint takin all these gd. its breakin down. i can feel it. serious flu with me now. feelin my body gets weaker and weaker. no mood for everything. can i jux go into deep slp? yes pls.
lemme be on my own.