China Doll
Monday, December 26, 2005
It was xmas when I was happily clubbing and feelin alil' tipsy. I don't know why I messaged you "lao niang going to seh already."
It was xmas when you said nothing to make me feel better.
It was xmas when I knew that your girlfriend went to Malaysia and you said you miss her alot.
It was xmas when I din actually realised that you were attached until much later.
It was xmas when my friends were happily eating Bak Kut Teh in the middle of the night and I am still feeling tipsy and thinkin that you should not be attached.
I am badly agonised. No. I did not cry. Till the next day. But when I got home tt night I cant sleep at all. All this while, I hold on strongly to the belief that you did not ignore me because you got yourself another girl. I was convinced that wasnt the case. I was so wrong to trust you so much. The truth is all out. You are happily attached. And you did not tell me ANYTHING!
What more, I sat facing Singapore River tha night b4, recounting all the things we have said and done to each other. Heart wrenching.
I cant bear to read the messages the second time. I am too afraid to face the truth. It's too much for me to take.
Till the next afternoon, I was in the bus, I read it and I cried.
Today, I was on my bed, thinking about the past. I cried.
I am just too stupid too naive too wrong about YOU.
I don't know whether it is true or not. But I think, I will still get on with life and stop thinkin about you. which i know will be extremely difficult. It's almost one year since u left. I tot i could do it. But I din succeed.
You. Broke my heart. Very badly.