China Doll
Sunday, March 19, 2006
For the past few days I've been wondering about my existence. Why is it so? Because my mother once told me: "I had a hard time giving birth to you." When she's in labour, my grandparents and relatives treated her like this and like that.
I wasn't upset nor disappointed with her words. It just set off my chain of thoughts.
If my mother did not conceive me, I would not be on this Earth typing away this shit. My mother will then not have a hard time in the hospital tryin to push me out of her womb.
If I do not exist at all, my mother will have only 2 sons. This also means that without my existence, financial burden in the family will not be so heavy. My mother will also not have so much things to worry about because I am a girl. It is worryin for a mother to have a daughter isnt it?
But, without my existence, there will be no one in the family to help my mother to do housework. *Laugh*
Hmmm... If I do not exist, it does not means that there will no one who will exist in my place. Who will exist in my place leh? I wonder.. Will it be another girl or boy? Another child who behaves better than me, spend less than me, cause less worry than me? Or will it be another way round?
If I do not exist in this big big world, who will be the best friend of my best friend? Someone prettier? Someone more understanding? Someone more fun-loving? Someone more cheerful? Someone smarter?
Then, has my existence brought about happiness and benefits to my surrounding people? IF one day I just disappear, how will it affect family and friends? Very badly? Or will they just forget about me in a short while.
Damn. So confusing. Bluagh! Cant be bothered anymore.
Anyway, SiongChie chalet was all about booze (Absolute Vodka with Ribena!!! SLURPZ), fag and crap. Rhyme huh? Thats life man.