China Doll
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
The frequent headache Im having almost everyday is driving me insane. I don't want to depend so much on panadol. Many people told me it is not good to over depend on panadol. But I have no choice. I used to hate panadol but now it seems to be a must-have thing in my coin pouch. At first it is the normal kinda panadol but now, it is those extra strong ones.
Sometimes the pain hurts so much that I totally blank out in my mind and I seriously cant get down to work. I fuckin hate it when this happens in school. Just like today. It got so bad that the throbbing in my head made me so giddy. I feel faint. Then, we were suppose to do the rehearsals for multicam and we took up different roles.
I am controllin camera 2. Studio Director said: "Cam 2 calibrate focus." Then, I cant think. I FORGOT HOW TO CALIBRATE FOCUS! Nothing appear in my mind. Sucha easy thing and I am unable to do it. Then Mr Yap asked me to go up to panel and gave me a earful.
I am not blaming it on my headache but I just feel very useless and very incompetent. Easy task like controlling camera yet I am unable to do it. What the fuck has become of me? Why won't my headaches/migraine or whatever shit it is just go away? Why can't I have better memory and be alittle smarter? I feel so inferior. Sigh.
Now, it is the time when I regretted coming to this course. Maybe Im not cut out to be in this course. Maybe this maybe that.
Maybe alittle crying will make me feel better. Maybe a nap after crying will make me happy. But will time allow me to do so?
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I thank my girl and my girl, for their simple yet sweet lil' concern and messages cheered me up. Thou boy always show me attitude. =(